0. Desperate

If you’re reading this pray for me.  I have been at this for more than twenty years.  Lust has been providing me with a solution for all my problems and deficiencies for a very long time.  I am a few minutes sober.  Even now, I want to look at porn.  I want to roll over and wallow in the refuse I need so desperately to be free from.  There’s that word.  Desperate.  I am desperate but I forget so quickly.  I want to forget that my life is on the line.  I want to forget that I could walk away from everything and everyone.  What will it take to wake me up?

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~ by guy in recovery on December 29, 2011.

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